Dreams of Water and Sky
by A. E. Stover
Summary: [Canon Divergent AU] Eren shouldn't have his own team of noobs. If dangling above the open mouth of a titan can't convince the Commander, Levi's afraid of what will.
1. Survival of the fittest

_**DREAMS OF WATER AND SKY  
><strong>_written by **A. E. Stover  
><strong>this version is **not edited**

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><p>.<p>

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The sky was an endless blue. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend it was the fabled ocean of his and Armin's dreams.

"Captain...?"

Eren thought the sight was worth the trip, no matter the difficulties.

"Is this — Is this still part of the plan?"

Eren grit his teeth. _No matter the difficulties,_ his mind chanted.

They were all clinging to an unknown cliffside, dangling above the wide, gaping mouth of a titan. They were, at this point, out of gas for the most part and had dulled most of their blades. One member of his squad was unconscious while another was missing a leg. The lost leg wouldn't worry Eren so much (Richard was _alive,_ thank _God)_ if they weren't prey to the force of gravity along with a 15-meter titan while their medic was the one out cold.

Zamir was the closest to the titan. He was also a sobbing mess. This was his first expedition out of the walls and only his second titan encounter. He'd been lucky enough to stay out of the mess Shiganshina and Trost were subject to; he lived in a small town close to Wall Rose's northern gate. He was born a merchant's son and aspired to join the Military Police until the Scouting Legion wooed him away with tales of adventurous wonder.

But... there was little to wonder when you dangled a few meters short of a titan's mouth. Eren was gonna find the little shit that spoke to Zamir and slug him.

The titan they were at the mercy of stayed dull. Its movements were lethargic and its gaze unfocused. It had trouble moving its limbs while crawling toward them, and had fumbled to swipe at them. It'd tried jumping once, but slipped on the grass and fell flat on its face. It hadn't moved since; it only had the mind to tilt its head back as far as it could and pull open its mouth.

That had been an hour ago.

Eren and his team had dangled pathetically above a dumb titan for an hour.

In his defense, Eren just wanted to point out that the titan wasn't completely incompetent. He didn't bring his whole squad out to hang on unstable ground for shits and giggles. The dumb fucker was erratic as hell; stupid as shit one second and quick as death the next. That's an aberrant, alright. At least this one's intelligence wasn't as terrifyingly great as that of the first one they'd dealt with.

Eren didn't know how far away the titans had chased his squad. The first aberrant he and his team lured away from central possessed some intelligence about 3DMG mechanics. His team barely came out of that fight alive. Their horses had fled, their medic suffered a serious concussion, Richard was without a left leg, and Analise's gear was damaged beyond repair. Nila's gear had also been damaged, but nobody knew how much until her gas canisters cut to abrupt silence in the middle of their frantic scramble up the cliff.

Eren adjusted his hold on the unconscious Ilana and glanced up. There was nothing but the rich blue sky. Just endless, endless sky. No Nila, whom Eren had sent out with Ilana's gear to send for help. No Levi, whom Eren desperately hoped wouldn't be the one to rescue him because of the humiliating factor that would no doubt come with it. He'd take a Mike-and-Hanji combo over Levi any day. _Maybe_ even Erwin or Mikasa. Jean was right out though; he'd never hear the end of it from him. The asshole.

"Captain? This is... This is still part of the plan, right?"

"No, Analise, this is _not_ still part of the plan, you senseless dumb _fuck._ Richard's only got one leg, Ilana's out cold, Zamir's shitting himself, your gear is fucked, Nila's _God_ knows where, and I'm completely out of gas. What the fuck kind of plan do you think all that's a part of? Whatever plan we've been on was ditched the moment we led that 23-meter son of a bitch away from the Commander. We're on a new plan — our _own_ plan — and it's called we're fucking screwed so shut the fuck up."

...Is what Eren _wanted_ to say. He forced himself to swallow it all down. He felt a smile plaster over his face and turned to face naïve little Analise.

"Enjoy the downtime, Analise! We don't get to hang around much in the barracks, don't we?"

Analise's shaky laugh merged with Zamir's whimpering chuckle. Even good ol' Richard managed an amused wheeze. Their awkward, out-of-place smiles brightened their tragically gloomy faces, and Eren actually felt their morale spike up.

Eren was going to hell. He was going straight down to the fiery depths of hell.

He felt worse when he caught Richard's eyes linger in his direction. Guilt flared like a hot geyser; looking at Richard's paling, empty face, Eren wondered how Richard's thoughts unfolded as he looked at his squad captain. There was fear and guilt, and... shame?

Eren realized Richard wasn't looking at him.

Richard had eyes only for Ilana.

That made Eren feel the flaring guilt so much more.

Eren adjusted his hold on their medic. He'd used the spare leather straps he had actually remembered to pack (thank you, Armin!) to hook Ilana to him, and kept his left arm wrapped firmly around Ilana's waist. "I got her," he told Richard. And then, broke one of Levi's rules by adding: "I won't let anything happen to her."

Richard turned his nearly bloodless face to stare long and hard at Eren. This was Richard's third expedition; he knew how useless promises were beyond the walls. Still, Richard seemed to believe, and the stare-down melted to a satisfied, lax expression. It could've passed for a weak smile.

The only thing that passed was Richard's grip on consciousness.

"Richard!" Analise cried in alarm. She swooped farther down from where she'd attached herself and got to Richard in time. His grip on the wires slacked just as she looped an arm around his waist. She struggled with holding him up, and for a moment Eren thought she was going to drop him. But Analise held Richard firmly by his waist, making sure his backside was flush against her front and let him droop forward at the waist. Below, Zamir had moved quickly to intercept him had he fallen. Their scout looked relieved he hadn't fallen, and he allowed his jaw to relax.

"His breathing is shallow," Analise reported, her voice wavering at the end. "And he's so cold..."

"He's losing too much blood," Zamir said matter-of-factly, and Eren had enough self control not to thank him for "pointing out the obvious."

What little hope his team had managed to scrap up before was crumbling like the cliff they were latched onto. Strong, sudden quakes shook away more of their resolve.

"The titan— It's moving!" Zamir shouted.

Eren felt his whole mind sear with the sheer amount of attention he placed on the dull, moving titan below them. It was a 15-meter class with a short torso and long, spindly arms and legs. It was a crawler, not a walker, though even crawling appeared too taxing if their short experience with it was anything to go by. From what he remembered, the titan seemed to have a preference for its left side; both the reaches and kicks it'd done at them had been with its left limbs. Eren shifted his focus on the titan's face. It's wide, gaping mouth was opening and shutting, and it flared the nostrils on its short, flat nose. Its eyes seemed unfocused; its right eye didn't quite follow movement as its left eye did. While Eren studied the titan's face, he saw what had made the titan suddenly react.

Specks of blood were smeared against its chin.

Richard's bloody stump was dripping right into the titan's face.

"Analise." Eren looked at the brunette just an arm's reach below him. "Use the rest of your gas to scale the cliff. Take Richard above. He's bleeding everywhere, and that sick fuck's getting off on it."

Analise's lip quivered for a fraction of a second before she clamped her lips in a tight line and summoned a steely resolve. The arm holding Richard drew in tight, and Analise gave Eren a firm nod.

Without a word, Analise launched up with a sharp hiss of gas. The zip of wires and clink of metal grapples mixed with short bursts of gas; the noise softened as distance grew between Analise and the rest of the squad.

Zamir and Eren were the only ones still hanging around. Eren knew Zamir still had some gas left, and Eren tried to calculate if sharing gas would be enough for him to take out the 15-meter titan by himself. It would be risky; though the titan was dull, it was still a titan. And Eren had seen it once react with lightening speed during the scramble back in town, so it was clear that the beast was capable of some dexterity. It would only take one unlucky move for Eren to go down in one swipe. Shifting was not an option either; he didn't know how well his squad would take it, and there was a risk of attracting other titans while in his titan form. There was also the additional risk of not being able to get out in his current condition. Of his personnel, only Nila had such knowledge. But having watched the protocol was very different from executing it; Nila was good, but she wasn't Mikasa. And Nila wasn't even here.

Eren's hold on Ilana shifted as he swung side to side to turn towards the cliffside. He dug his feet into the dry rock and looked down.

"Zamir!"

The inexperienced scout was at his side in an instant. His face, streaked with once-flowing tears assumed a sternness Eren was surprised — and proud — to see.

"Do you need me to take Ilana up, Captain?"

Eren nodded. Smart kid.

They worked to unhook Ilana from Eren's straps and attach the unconscious medic to Zamir. "Be careful," Eren warned once Ilana was secured. "Dry land isn't easy to scale. And the forest above isn't safe until you're in one of the taller trees."

Zamir didn't reply and only swallowed. Then he said in a quiet voice, "We'll be okay. Because we're coming back for you." Before Eren could respond, Zamir zipped up and began the long climb up to the top.

Eren was left to dangle alone, listening to the sounds of his squad clink up the cliff grow faint. The 15-meter titan start to shuffle below the cliff, eyes darting between the retreating soldiers to the one that remained near its reach.

Eren grasped his wire tightly. As soon as they were up — as soon as he his squad was safely up the cliff, he told himself, he'd shift. He'd get rid of the titan first, and then he'd climb up and eliminate anything else that faced them. He'll keep his squad safe. He'll keep his squad alive.

They were all going to survive this — together.

"_No!"_

Analise's cry of despair plunged ice into his veins. Eren threw his head back and strained his eyes against the bright blue sky to see what was happening. He couldn't seen anything; the sky was too bright; all he saw were shadows, shadows that moved, shadows that grew larger and larger.

It wasn't a shadow, he realized. It was the silhouette of Richard's body as it plummeted down.

"Richard!" Zamir shouted, voice torn from his inability to reach out for his friend because his hands were full, god_dammit!_

Analise gave another cry, this one not of grief but of fear. "Titans!" she screamed. "There are titans above! _Captain!"_

Fuck fuck fuck _fuck_ Eren had no time for this shit; What do they do? Titans above, a fucking dumb shit titan below, no fucking gas, medic out cold, and Richard — _Richard!_ Richard was falling; fucking unconscious Richard with his one bloody stump, _fuck,_ and Eren was calculating how far to swing himself to the left and when to do it and what were the chances of his grapples staying in this shitty dry rock fuck fuck _fuck_ no, _shit,_ this isn't happening this _can't_ happen not now not _again_ not—

She swooped down like an angel; her dark dreads flying around her like a halo and her bright eyes blazing with the glory of unexpected salvation.

Eren watched Nila catch Richard just in time. She shot up like lightening just as the titan below chomped its jaws around now-empty space, and didn't stop until she was a good five meters above Eren. She was heaving when she came to a full stop, eyes still blazing and wild, and she held Richard so tightly in her arm, Eren thought she'd suffocate him to death.

When she recovered, and it was a quick one, she turned her attention down to Eren. "Hanji-buntaichou is here!" Nila shouted, looking first down at Eren and then up at Zamir and Analise who came back down — _no, Analise, you're wasting your gas; go up and be safe, goddammit!_ — with a face streaming with tears.

"Oh, thank God," Analise sobbed, grabbing hold of Nila's arm. "I thought he was gonna— He slipped, and I— Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—"

"Retiens tes pleurs!" Nila barked, kicking her foot against the rocky cliff. "Stop your crying! Now is not the time!" Nila quickly passed Richard over, not saying a work when Analise clutched onto him as if he were her lifeline. "You have another chance," Nila spoke calmly as secured Richard to the younger girl. "Don't make the same mistake! Now, go up! Go!"

Analise blinked her tears away, forcing composure upon herself. By the time she'd kicked off the cliff and swung around to climb up, her steely resolve was back in place.

Then, Nila dropped further down to come face-to-face with Eren.

Eren, who'd been helpless to watch one of his own squad members almost plummet to his death. Eren, who'd been dangling on wires as he watched Analise stricken with the fear and guilt of losing a comrade by her own hand. Eren, who had to have Nila swoop in to save the squad the Commander entrusted him with — the squad that included the lives of the top three soldiers of the newly graduated 113th Trainee Squad.

Eren felt like shit.

"_Captain."_

Nila Baptiste gave her senior a stare that managed to cut through his shitty feelings and somehow make him feel more like the piece of shit he was. Her tone was as grave as her stare, but her voice still wavered and the strict hold on her composure was rapidly falling away. "Hanji-buntaichou instructed me to pass a message on to you from the Commander."

He knew already what the message would be; knowing the extent of trust the Commander placed in him made his head whirl; knowing that he could get everyone to safety made the hairs on the back of his neck rise and his heart race madly in his chest; knowing that his squad would never be able to look at their captain the same way again made his stomach lurch nauseatingly. But knowing that his squad would live to see another day forced a calm to overtake his sense. Eren watched rather than heard the words pour from Nila's lips, anticipation coursing through his veins.

"Shift at your own discretion," was the Commander's message. Just then, a large shadow veiled them as someone — _Zamir!_ — screamed high above.

Eren looked directly into Nila's eyes, looking past the glimmer of fear that came at the prospect of being near a titan shifter and straight into the burning desire to stay alive.

"Get the others to safety," he said, and with a few practiced flicks of his hand, he had rid himself of his gear and was falling down.

He bit into the flesh of his left hand.

He vaguely felt the wet, crunching sensation of having stomped on the dull titan's face as he landed. He distantly heard the echoing roar that burst from his throat. He felt someone drive his body up the cliff so he could come face to face with an elongated face with bulging eyes, a slack jaw, and crooked teeth. He thought he reeled back a fist.

He can't remember anything after that.


	2. Death's got one hell of a grip

_**DREAMS OF WATER AND SKY  
><strong>_written by **A. E. Stover  
><strong>this version is **not edited**

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><p>.<p>

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"...mir!_ Wa... up! _Za...!"

Zamir remembered Analise ramming herself into him and nearly tearing the whole left side of his face off on jagged rocks. The impact of hitting against the cliffside was numbing; his ears rang sharply and his vision swarm in darkness—

Oh, wait. That was because he was closing his eyes.

"Za... _ple..._ don't...! Zam...!"

As he fought to get them open, he thought he heard someone calling him. It was probably Analise. Was she apologizing? She was always apologizing, even when it wasn't her fault or when she didn't need to. Like right now; he was certain there was a pretty good reason for smashing into him — escaping a titan's snapping jaws, or helping him avoid a titan's crushing foot, or just being on a receiving end of an arm swipe and crashing into him. It couldn't be helped.

"_Zamir!"_

He suddenly stopped breathing. His lungs couldn't expand. They weren't _malfunctioning,_ he could feel them contract and trying to extend — _trying._ They just. Couldn't. Extend. His lungs kept shrinking in more and more with each second, and the lack of oxygen burned through his chest and nose and his tongue felt thick and spongy in his mouth up and his lips felt puckered and his eyes felt tight around their sockets—

His eyelids peeled open.

A round head with eyes large enough to crowd half its face stared open-mouthed at him. Its pupils were dilated and darted in every direction, landing occasionally on him. Each time it did, Zamir felt his chest pop and crack and bursts of pain exploded inside him and his spine bent and snapped to match the jagged surface of rocks and—

The titan's hand was crushing him into the cliff.

And in its open-mouth was Analise.

The young soldier crouched in the titan's empty mouth in front of what was left of its tongue, tiny hands folded powerfully around the hilt of her swords, forcing them to serve as a crude, double bladed weapon. Analise was drenched with the titan's oral fluids and bleeding from a gash on her head. The remaining flap of muscle in the titan's mouth floundered around, steaming as it began to regenerate. Each time it lapped up drops of Analise's blood the beast's eyes rolled back in its sockets and gave a chilling groan.

Zamir would have retched, but he couldn't even make a shocked gasp. Instead, he was forced to stare as his own comrade bled inside the mouth of a titan, alive only because of two flimsy swords that somehow were enough to keep the titan's massive jaws from crushing her. He stared right into her eyes, which were wider than he'd ever seen, the exposed white of her sclera spidery with red veins and the color of her unfocused pupils a dark and heavy contract to her blue irises.

Her eyes were hauntingly familiar; he saw, in his memories, himself as a child as he stared dumbly at a cracked mirror underneath the debris of his home. He hadn't died then when his parents did, and that made him think he'd survived because he was given a chance to redeem himself. But now he knew why he lived. He didn't die then because he was going to die now. He was going to be crushed for his crimes just like how he had crushed Shaki and Indra for their crimes.

There was no redemption for him.

"I — I can't hold on much longer!" someone cried, the unfamiliar voice torn with despair.

Zamir saw Analise's arms shake. The titan moved its jaw, growling deep in its throat when Analise's blades sank deeper into the roof and floor of its mouth. Its tongue — now fully regenerated — thrust wetly against Analise's back. He heard her scream.

She was going to get eaten.

Analise was going to _die._

Analise was going to _die_ because of _him._ She tried to save him, and that couldn't even be done because he was being crushed in the titan's hand. He was always, _always_ getting in the way. He was the reason Ilana couldn't heal anyone. He was the reason Richard lost his leg. He was the reason the captain was out of gas and was now probably _dead._ Hanji-buntaichou wasn't anywhere to be seen, and now he couldn't even be properly saved. Everyone was going to die because of _him._

"It's no good! I can't — I can't keep it pinned!" Terror made the unknown voice quake; it was a woman, from how high the pitch was, and definitely someone older. The stranger suddenly cried out, and Zamir heard the echo of shattering rocks.

Zamir saw Analise jerk her head up. Her wide eyes were blazing, pupils jolting back and forth from Zamir and somewhere above.

"It's legs are almost regenerated!" another voice shouted, sounding farther away.

Analise's eyes fell solidly on Zamir's face for a full minute as soon as the warning was issued. Her brow was deeply furrowed, and her blue eyes still burned with the fight that still remained in her. She was gritting her teeth, lips peeled back with her snarl, and her tiny hands remained gripped impossibly tight to the hilt of her swords.

Someone fluttered down, the green cape of the Scouting Legion sounding like the wings of a dove. It was Imora Larome from Squad Four, swinging down to land on the titan's arm just between Analise and Zamir.

"You or him. You have thirty seconds," was all Imora said.

Zamir felt his stomach turn to lead. He saw how the weight of the words hit Analise as well; her eyes dropped their wild look and darkened to a deep blue. Her gritting teeth disappeared behind thin lips. Her eyes fell shut.

"Fifteen seconds!"

Analise's eyes snapped open, and tears fell freely down her face. She changed the handling of her swords to grip the hilt of the blade that sunk into the floor of the titan's mouth. With a wordless shout, she plunged it further down.

In that instant, Imora moved. She was only a flash of color and a gale of wind; She hurled herself up into the air—

-and shot back down, running her blades cleanly through the arm of the titan holding Zamir.

Imora launched up again with her wires, at once against the rocky surface beside Zamir to cut him out. "Drop it, now!" she shouted at someone above, and there was the shrill ringing of metal blades and piercing wires that filled the air around them.

Zamir watched the titan drop down the cliffside, mouth still hanging open. He could see Analise's terrified face for all but ten seconds.

Then she disappeared down the titan's throat.

His lungs contracted, pushing a dry heave out of his mouth before finally — _finally_ expanding. A watery sound bubbled out of his throat before his lungs shrunk in again before extending sharply out with a high wail and stabs of pain that set fire to his whole chest.

A flash of light exploded in his face before he blacked out.


	3. When the vermin crawl out

_**DREAMS OF WATER AND**_** SKY**  
>written by <strong>A. E. Stover<strong>  
>this version <strong>not edited<strong>

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><p>.<p>

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Her body was lifted up and slid down the throat of the titan before she could react. Peristalsis eased her form down the dark, burning tract of fleshy muscle.

She made certain to maintain the grip of her sword; the blade dragged down with her and cut through the fleshy tube she was sliding down. Blood steamed into her face in thick pulses, gushing each time the titan's esophagus contracted around her like iron walls.

She plunged the blade in deeper, feeling scalding fluid steam away at her face and hands. The titan's throat closed around her even more and she screamed; her throat and face and hands and body _burned_ with the white-hot intensity of hellish flames and _god_ nothing was working, it was too hot, too dark, too _much,_ and so she let go with a wail because she was going to die she would never come back out she was never going to—

Everything stopped.

She let go and slid down and suddenly everything slowed.

Everything... slowed... down...

Analise dug her nails into the fleshy muscle of the titan's throat and clawed up the tunnel, feeling her skin blister with every minute she spent trapped inside. She suddenly cut her finger against something sharp — _my sword!_ — and reached out and grabbed it and she twisted and twisted and stabbed and twisted and her skin blistered and burned and she could barely breathe but she stabbed and stabbed and _stabbed_ and _stabbed_ and—

A pinprick of white hit her eyes.

Analise froze.

She was consumed with a frenzy, _slicing_ and _cutting_ and _stabbing_ and _twisting_ the dull blade and _clawing,_ _ripping,_ _peeling_ back the flesh and muscle until—

"...! It-It's a hand! A _hand!_ There's a — It's someone's hand and it's _moving!_ Hanji-buntaichou! _Hanji-buntaichou!"_


	4. Ça Va?

_**DREAMS OF WATER AND**_** SKY**  
>written by <strong>A. E. Stover<strong>  
>this version <strong>not edited<strong>

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><p>.<p>

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Eren sat on the ground.

He heard Hanji barking orders and Moblit repeating instructions, their voices disturbing the small pockets of grim silence that persisted in the forest clearing like a heavy fog.

Eren leaned his back against the thick trunk of a tree, his gaze remaining on what remained of his squad. Ilana lay motionless in front of him. So did Richard, with his chewed-off leg, and Zamir, whose uniform was drenched in his own blood.

One of Hanji's squad members, Kain, came by Eren with a white sheet, his face impossibly stoic as he gently draped the sheet over Richard's unmoving form.

Eren stared at the outline of Richard's body as it appeared against the white sheet.

More soldiers appeared; two from Moblit's squad came forward to take Ilana and three more came to carry Zamir a few meters away where Yoshua had just finished amputating his friend's arm.

Analise was nowhere to be seen.

Eren didn't know what he would say to her uncle.

All around them lay steaming limbs and crumbling slivers of bone. The air stank of blood and festering titan flesh. Eren's own titan body was left dissolving away at the bottom of the cliff, where he'd struck down the last titan before being cut out by Moblit.

He'd stayed knocked out for twenty minutes or so, and had woken up beside a heavily injured Terrance Gestalt, one of the soldiers on Jean's squad who had gotten separated in a titan rush hours ago. Eren wondered if Jean was out blaming himself for Terrance's disappearance. At least there would be a happy end at the closing of their mission.

If they all survived that long, that is.

A figure came to stand before him, fishing him out his cynical thoughts and tossing him back to the forest floor where Richard lay dead an arm's reach in front of him. Eren stared at Richard a bit longer before looking up to see who it was.

It's Nila Baptiste, one of Mikasa's soldiers Erwin had placed temporarily on his team while Mikasa was temporarily re-assigned to Levi's Special Operations squad with Armin and Sasha. Her hair was tied back with a makeshift bandana fashioned out of a strip of someone else's cloak. Her face was spotted with dirt and blood, and the haggard expression she wore seemed to drag her whole body down along with her face.

"Ça va?"

Eren looked down at Richard again. "I'll be fine."

Nila stood as she was for a few more seconds before plopping down in front of him. She stared blankly at him, her slouching shoulders and drooping eyelids reminding him that Nila isn't blank-faced out of contempt or judgment or fear, but out of pure exhaustion.

"Do you always have to be cut out?" she asked suddenly.

Eren spared her a glance. The blank face is still there, but he saw a glint of curiosity in her eyes. There's also hesitance he sees, enough to know that she may be regretting her choice of a conversation starter.

He was appreciative of the offer of distraction, however, and decided to humor her.

"Not always. It depends on my condition."

Nila nodded thoughtfully. "Do you remember what you do?"

Eren gave a wry smile. "Again, it depends." He paused. "Did I do something I should know about?"

Nila pursed her lips for a moment. "I... I think so? You tried to bite off the throat of one of the titans."

Eren raised an eyebrow. That wasn't normal behavior. Then again, he didn't exactly understand the inner workings of a titan's mind. "Was I incapacitated?"

"No. You had the upper edge. The titan was in the process of regenerating its legs, and it had just fallen off the cliff. It was on the ground and you were trying to bite its throat off."

Eren felt his brow crease as he gave the information some thought. "What stopped me?"

"Another titan. It was one Yoshua and I were occupied with."

Eren nodded and dropped his gaze to the dirt to think. He didn't have the opportunity to ponder because in the next moment, people were screaming through the forest.

"Hanji-buntaichou! Hanji-buntaichou! We have a survivor!"

"She cut herself out of a titan! She survived being swallowed by a titan!"

Eren was already crossing the open space of the forest when the second announcement was finishing. Three medics rushed into the clearing, carrying a cot with a body drenched with an array of titan fluids into the clearing. Eren saw a wet, clumped mass of dark brown hair atop a face scarred with burns — a face he knew because she was one of his own. Relief hit him like a sudden gale, threatening to knock him over with the knowledge that one more of his own was not dead or missing but _alive_.

"Analise," Nila breathed out, snapping out of her blank visage and letting her face awaken with emotion. She rushed forward.

Before Eren could follow suit, someone clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Eren."

He turned. It was Moblit, his tired face adorned with a grim shadow. He tried a smile when he and Eren's eyes met, but the hollow gesture fell in a blink of an eye.

"There's something you should know about our expedition today," Moblit began carefully, his words a whisper in the clearing.

Eren turned to face Moblit fully. "Of course."

Before he could continue, a new finding sparked to light in the form of a steady hiss of steam — one Eren was all too familiar with because it was a sound his body made when it was actively healing. But he didn't have any more injuries to heal; he'd finished that process a while back, when he was keeping an eye out for who was still breathing and who wasn't.

A chorus of surprised murmurs and gasps effectively turned his attention to the soldiers who had crowded around the girl who survived being swallowed by a titan.

There was titan steam rising from the burns on Analise's face and body.

The murmurs rose to a steady chatter, and turned to startled cries and accusations that erupted all over the camp. Eren shoved through the crowd to reach his squad member. When he got to the cot, Hanji was already standing over her, a peculiar grin plastered across a once-exhausted face. Hanji's eyes flashed ominously behind tinted goggles and pulled out a smoke gun.

Eren let the shot reverberate in his ears and shake him to the core. A pillar of yellow smoke extended beyond the clouds above as a signal for the Commander on the status of a mission Eren had not been told about.

Hanji pocketed the gun away. "Secure our first target," Hanji ordered and stepped away. Eren felt his eyes widen. When there was no movement, Eren realized Hanji had addressed _him_ with the order.

Eren just stood as he was, standing over Analise and staring at the hissing steam that kept rising from the burns on her body, watching new skin pushing through like spring daisies amidst green fields in the summer sun, and wondering why, why, why, _why_. The smell of burning flesh bore down on him; it was not unlike his own recovery process, a fact that he found difficult to accept.

And all the while, Analise was breathing steadily with her eyes shut to the world. She was someone whose heart still cared and loved, no matter how bleak the future seemed. She was Zamir's anchor, and Ilana's confident. She was Richard's admirer, and Nila's training partner. She had friends in Jean's squad and a father in Trost. She crushed on the Commander, like other girls, and believed in fighting for humanity's freedom.

She was _fifteen_.

But so was he, once upon a time. And it was the same for Annie, and Reiner, and Bertholdt.

"Secure our second target," came the next order.

Eren whipped his head around. Hanji was kneeling beside Yoshua, looking down at Zamir's recovering form. Except Zamir was fully awake and straining against his restraints.

"Hanji, wait!" Eren rose to his feet but Moblit stood before him.

"Calm down," Moblit urged. Then, his eyes sharpened and his voice grew tight. "Eren—"

"_No!" _Zamir cried out, kicking against Yoshua and Hanji who held him down. "Stop it!" Zamir's wild eyes burned deeply into Eren's heart. He blinked, and it wasn't Zamir he was seeing but himself, chained to a pole in a courtroom in Sina full of people who wanted nothing more than to rip him apart and feed him to the dogs. Was this any different? He thought of Annie, of Reiner and Bertholdt. He thought of Analise, retrieved from a titan's throat and suffering burns, and turned his mind's eye back to Zamir.

The young soldier was pinned to the ground by two veterans; terror twisted his face and tears stained his pale cheeks. Blood dribbled down the corners of his mouth and the sheets he lay on were awash with red — with _blood._ There was too much blood.

He shouldn't even be alive.

Zamir didn't seem to know about that. He continued to flail, struggling against Hanji and Yoshua, who were shouting at him to stay still. "I-I don't understand! Why are you — I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Hanji," Eren began, taking a step forward, "Hanji, wait!"

Moblit stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Eren, don't—"

"Secure the target!" Hanji bellowed, and the soldiers came to life around them.

Eren's hands fisted at his sides. "Just, _wait!_ Stop!"

Moblit's hand dropped from his shoulder and his voice hardened. "Eren!"

Zamir sobbed. "I didn't do anything wrong! I-I... _I did exactly as you told me to!"_"

Eren's eyes squeezed shut. _"Hanji!"_

Moblit's voice barked sternly above the raucous. "Drop your weapon!"

Eren's eyes flew open in time to see the soldiers surround him. Swords were drawn and rifles were aimed. There were capture barrels lined along the edge of the clearing; Eren didn't know there were any with them. Eren didn't even know who they were aiming at. The weapons were drawn in his direction, but the soldiers stared gravely at a point beyond him.

"Drop your weapon," Moblit ordered again.

"Call off your dogs," spoke a voice Eren vaguely knew.

"You are threatening the life of a squad leader of the Survey Corps," Moblit continued in a steady voice. "Your actions are treasonous. We will act according to the law if you do not cease here."

"Whether you execute me before or after I take his life... There's not much of a difference to me, is there?"

"No, please!" Zamir cried again. "Imora!"

Eren's eyes widened. Imora? Imora Llarome? She was a member of Hanji's squad for 5 years now, hand-picked after 3 years of dutiful service to the Corps. It was Imora that saved Zamir during the cliffside battle. It was Imora that had seen Nila and passed on the note about the status of Eren's squad. And, apparently—

Eren turned around.

—It was Imora who was pointing a pistol at his neck.

"Don't move," she warned. "Or I'll shoot."

"And risk my shifting?"

"I'll hit your spinal cord."

"Pistols aren't known for their accuracy."

"No. But I am."

Eren grit his teeth. He'd heard the rumors; Imora Llarome never missed a shot — with anything. Whatever she aimed, she got with whatever she had. He never bought into the stories, especially because Imora wasn't the type of soldier to go on the offensive. She was an evasive fighter, preferring to fight with brains over brawn by setting up traps and playing on her team's strengths and weaknesses to create the best counterattack. But whether it was true or not didn't matter; Eren wasn't about to screw up a secret op by inanely testing theories.

"Eren," a woman from Hanji's squad, Vaeda, whispered to him. She was a stern lady with a motherly heart whose presence brought comfort in whatever situation; Eren found her presence soothing even now. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Eren glanced at Vaeda's reassuring gaze before looking at Moblit. Moblit had put up a stoic mask, but it was a welcome expression; it meant that whatever plan was on right now was running smoothly. To confirm, he looked past the line of soldiers to Hanji, who was now standing at the ready in front of Zamir and Yoshua. Hanji dipped her chin down ever so slightly, a knowing look appearing in her eyes. Behind her, Yoshua kept Zamir firmly against the ground; Zamir was far from calm, but he at least wasn't fighting back anymore. The fear in his eyes remained, however, and Eren wanted to cross over to stay beside him — Eren found that Zamir calmed down more when he spoke to him.

"There's nowhere for you to go," Vaeda spoke reasonably, this time to Imora. "We can still talk about—"

"If you think I'm like Zamir, you're dead wrong. I've no intention of talking to anyone."

"You sure are talking a lot right now."

Eren heard a surprised gasp before the ringing of steel slicing through flesh. Two heavy thuds made the grass rustle behind him, and Eren whipped his head around.

Levi stood over the headless body of Imora Llarome. Her head had rolled off to the side; her neck bled into the blades of grass and her eyes were still open.

Immediately, Eren whipped his head around to Zamir. The boy was out like a light; Yoshua was running a pulse check and quietly setting him down with an eased sigh. As for himself, Eren felt his knees buckle. He allowed himself to sink to the ground and let his back drop against the forest floor.

"Levi!" Hanji shouted, running furiously toward him. "She was our last source!"

Levi spared a glance at Llarome. "Not anymore."

Hanji fell to her knees with a disgruntled cry and buried her fingers into her hair.

"How did you find us?" Moblit asked while patting Hanji on the back in a consoling manner.

"The flare."

Moblit cringed visibly, looking quite disappointed with himself at having forgotten that detail.

"Mikasa," Eren found himself blurting out. "And Armin, and Sasha — what happened to them? They were with you, weren't they?"

Levi pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket with a scowl, wiping his blades down with a conscientious effort to stay as clean as possible. "I had to go solo. We were with squad three when the flare was shot. I told them to assist squad three, since they're still getting themselves together after that rush. They're still missing two people." Levi looked to one of the men with an acknowledging nod of his head. "Though, I guess the missing count is down to one, now."

Terrance meekly raised a hand.

"May I ask who else is missing?" Vaeda inquired.

Eren didn't miss the quick glance Levi gave him before answering, as if to tell him to prepare himself. His heart dropped to his stomach regardless of the prep.

"It's Jean. Squad three's leader. Jean Kirschstein."


	5. Chewed up by dirt

_**DREAMS OF WATER AND**_** SKY**  
>written by <strong>A. E. Stover<br>**this version is **not edited**

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><p>.<p>

.

"This is fucking humiliating."

Armin laughed. "I'm sure there are worse things, Jean."

"Fuck the other worse things. I don't care if there are a million other worse things. _This_ right here is humiliating."

Jean was currently sitting in a wagon in the middle of an abandoned village, having narrowly escaped from a titan rush that had sent his squad scattered to 'Jean's-a-shitty-leader' town and the well-known 'My-ass-is-fucked' villa.

Also, he was without pants.

"At least you still have your underwear. Connie lost both in our last expedition."

A smile stretched at Jean's face as he recalled the incident. "Hah! I remember that." Then his face dropped. "God, I teased the _shit_ outta that kid for that. Fuck. Connie can't find out about this, _ever_. Where's Sasha? Does she know about this? God_damm_it, I wish I packed extra pants... Why the fuck did I not pack extra pants?!"

"Well, this _was_ supposed to be a routine survey..."

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better. Jean Kirschstein, leader of squad three, loses his pants in a warm-up mission in completely _chartered_ territory three fucking miles from the walls."

"It's just your pants," said Armin.

"It's just my dignity," Jean griped.

"I found another pair."

Jean whipped his head up and came face-to-face with one Mikasa Ackerman seated on her horse. She was holding a pair of crumpled pants that smelled like old socks. The look on her face was some mix of pity and amusement.

That's okay. Jean could live with that.

Jean breathed a heavy sigh, not missing the slight twitch on Mikasa's lips by an inch. "Thank _god_ you exist. Please don't tell Sasha about this," Jean said, grabbing the pants and shoving himself into them.

"I know nothing."

"You're a goddess."

The pants were a little baggy on him. Jean hoped to god that a little bagginess wouldn't kill him today; the last thing he needed to add on his list of humiliating feats was "eaten by titan after getting his pants caught on dumb shit." Jean got out of the wagon and marched through the streets to his horse with a renewed hop in his step. His spirited walk didn't last long.

"Enemy sighted!" someone shouted from behind.

"Signal the flare!" Mikasa ordered, and someone fired a red shot.

Jean ran the rest of the way to his horse and watched as someone flew by him on a brown destrier. It was Levi; following close behind him was Sasha Braus and some guy from squad six Jean didn't know the name of yet.

"Get horsed before you get chewed," Levi snapped as he surged through the scrambling soldiers.

Jean was on his destrier in a heartbeat, and charged east after Levi and Sasha. Armin and Mikasa were already three horses ahead of him; a quick signal from Levi far up told him he needed to move faster. Jean dug his heels into his horse; Roland snorted and pounded its hooves harder into the ground as it gained speed.

Once Jean caught up, Levi began to speak. "Sasha, take command of squad six. William's dead. Jean, you get your shit together and make sure squad three's whole again. Ernest will flag down the next squad and pass on our updates. Mikasa, you take command. I'm riding solo to Hanji."

"I'll go with you," Mikasa insisted.

"Don't be an idiot," he hissed. "Take command of the team and make sure you get back to Central. Shoot yellow once you're 3 kilometers eastward. Erwin needs to know we've been comp—"

The earth shattered open with a deafening explosion. Jean was thrown off his shrieking horse and hit the ground hard. A creature with a gaping mouth ringed with dagger-sized teeth emerged from the fissure. It emitted a low, haunting groan and slapped its thick, limbless body against the crust of the earth. Two soldiers on horses were caught underhand. The bloody squelch of squashed human bodies was, for once, unheard; the thundering crack of earth was too loud. Jean thought himself crazy for being relieved at such a thing.

His vision swam with colors, and yellow was one of them. It reminded him of Reiner's hair, and for a moment, Jean swore he saw—

The ground crumbled underneath him. Jean plunged into darkness.


	6. The Laghm

**_DREAMS OF WATER AND SKY_**  
>written by <strong>A. E. Stover<br>**this version is **not edited**

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanaba saw the flare first, but it was Annie who pointed it out.

"The mission's been compromised."

A grimace settled on her face.

Within the first hour of the survey, the whole east side of their formation was blown open. Squads one and two had vanished, and squad three was forced to retreat after a titan rush came out of nowhere. Squads four and five managed to divert the rush to keep it from running through central, but the scramble left squad three in complete disarray. Central forced their west flank to converge around what was left of their formation, but a titan eliminated squads nine through eleven, and their last emergency medic team was currently MIA.

It wasn't unusual for a routine survey to go completely downhill, even with the number of highly-skilled veterans leading so many squads. That was just the grim reality of living against the titans. The rapidity of incoming casualty reports wouldn't be met with heated suspicion if it weren't for one thing — the release of not one but two yellow flares. All in the distance of where their eastern flank had disappeared to. They hadn't fallen victim to sudden titan appearances.

They were subjected to a series of ambushes.

Nanaba turned to the Commander, who maintained his calm demeanor throughout the new developments that unfolded before them, the latest of which happened to be the realization of a strategic attack against their five key squads.

"We proceed with our original plan," said the Commander. Riding beside him, Mike Zacharius reached for a smoke gun. Mike aimed the flare straight up with one hand as he covered his ear with the other.

Nanaba watched a purple stream of smoke shoot into the air. Within moments, two more purple streams of smoke spiraled into the air in response to a message Nanaba had no understanding of. Judging by the look of discomfort on Annie's face, their reserved shifter was also unaware.

Suddenly, the Commander came to a halt. Nanaba yanked on the reins to keep her horse pummeling through the Commander and Mike.

"Leonhardt," the Commander called to Annie, turning around to face her. "Right here."

Nanaba, too, looked to Annie. The look of discomfort intensified, and Nanaba realized that their reserved shifter wasn't looking like she'd just swallowed Hanji's latest concoction because she was uncomfortable with being unaware, but because she was precisely aware of what was to come.

When Nanaba watched what happened next, she wasn't at all surprised as to why Annie looked like she did moments before.

Annie Leonhardt rode some meters out before abandoning her horse and sprinting farther ahead. A blinding shot of light struck out from her form. When the dust settled, a large female titan with blonde hair appeared in the distance, crouched down on its knees with an ear to the ground.

"...What's underground?" Nanaba couldn't help but ask.

"Nothing, if we're lucky," Mike quipped.

The shifter suddenly lunged to the right. Simultaneously, something punched through the earth's crust where Annie had just been. The roaring chaos blasted her ears; the earth quaked with a force Nanaba felt even in the air. It shook so violently around her, encasing her tightly like the swaddling bands of a newborn; she clutched the leather reins in her hands, her heart racing so fast she thought for a second it was still, and froze stiffly in her saddle from a feeling she had once thought she'd learned to embrace.

A sudden weight hit against her back. "Nanaba!"

At the sound of her captain's voice, she slipped out of fear's grasp. In good time, too, because Nanaba's mare took that moment to pitch sharply to the left. Nanaba struggled to stay saddled, angling her body against the dip gravity forced it to go, and yanking the reins for added anchorage. While still leaning to restore her center of balance, Nanaba caught sight of it-the fabled beast of the Outside World, resembling the description that came from Armin's mouth but a fortnight ago.

The Lahgm was larger than they had anticipated; it was as big as the Female Titan, and its appearance more reptilian than the sketches in the archives. The six holes along the sides of its leathery snout oozed with a viscous substance that hissed and steamed as it slowly slid out. Its thick, serpentine body, half-emerged from below, lay flat against the ground, head raised slightly back so as to strike forward at a moment's notice. Four jaundice eyes gleamed hypnotically, each eye surveying its surroundings independently before one settled on them and three remained on the Female Titan.

Nanaba, seated rightly on her saddle, was once again seized with fear. The feeling increased tenfold when the Lahgm bared its teeth and struck forward.

"Stand your ground!" the voice of the Commander was somehow over the screeching roar of the beast. Though she registered the command, Nanaba found it was unnecessary. She couldn't move her body even if she wanted to. Nanaba could only watch the open mouth of the Laghm hurtle toward them with all the force of the Armored Titan's mad dash against the gates of Wall Maria.


	7. Squad Three

**_DREAMS OF WATER AND SKY_**  
>written by <strong>A. E. Stover<br>**this version is **not edited**

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><p>.<p>

Armin's shaking hands grasped around the edges of the crevice Jean had disappeared into.

Beside him, a member of squad three was crouched near the edge screaming his voice away. "Captain! Captain, can you hear us? Please respond!"

Armin let the soldier shout; if Mikasa's threats couldn't stop him, nothing would.

On his other side, Sasha raised her ear from the ground. Her face was ashen and smudged with dirt. Her dull eyes never left the fissure. "I can't hear anything."

"How deep do you think it is?"

"I… can't tell."

Armin let the blackness of the fissure swallow up his senses; he's stared at it for so long that it started to expand in front of him to stretch across his whole line of sight…

"Armin!"

Mikasa's voice startled him; she was holding him upright from behind, her hands gripping his shoulders as she would grip her reins when she surveyed ahead on her horse.

"Mikasa…?" Armin blinked once, twice, and noticed the heaviness of the action. "What…?"

"You almost fell in," someone from squad three said, sounding more alarmed than her face let on. Italiah from squad three sat on her shins with a scowl suddenly twisting her freckled face. She rose to her feet. "I thought you had to be strong to be in Special Ops," she commented, earning a sharp look from Mikasa and Sasha that Armin could feel.

Holland's face went as white as a sheet, a scandalized look clapping over his face. He elbowed the girl with a pleading hiss of her name on his tongue.

Italiah whirled around and shoved him so hard, he staggered back a few steps. "Don't touch me," she scathed.

Armin didn't miss the way Holland flinched at the glare he was sent.

Holland was a new recruit to the Survey Corps, joining after surviving his parents at only age 9 after a sudden influenza outbreak. He graduated at the top of his class, though his everyday demeanor failed to show it. How Jean managed to recognize Holland's natural affinity to the 3DMG without reading a word of trainee records was beyond Armin's guess, especially since Jean rarely socialized with anyone outside his circle these days.

Contrary to Holland, Italiah graduated with a considerably low ranking, though she tested exceptionally at hand-to-hand combat. She didn't excel at using the 3DMG, nor was she precise with her swords, and she didn't have a cell to her brain that was useful as a tactician. But what she severely lacked in combat, she made up with guts, charisma, and drive. Not quite the ideal soldier to have in the Survey Corps, but a soldier nonetheless. Armin was still figuring out why Jean added her to his squad.

"Calm down," said Li Ying, the last present member of squad three. This one dared to place a hand on Italiah's shoulder. She received the predictable glare from the girl as if it were a nonchalant glance. "We're all on edge because of what's been going on. We can't let it get in the way of our teamwork." She gave Italiah's shoulder a small squeeze, and smiled lightly at Holland. "We're all we have left of our squad right now."

Armin watched how quickly Italiah's anger deflated; her shoulders drooped and her face fell morosely. He saw Holland regain a confident look on his face as he nodded in agreement with Li Ying's words.

Li Ying was a veteran raised under Hanji's scientific know-how with 3 years of survey experience. She was a last-minute choice for squad three, and the one Armin could most clearly see the reason for. Li Ying was gentle and soft-spoken, adapted easily to her surroundings, and had the kind of precision that rivaled that of veteran soldiers like Mikasa and Imora. She was older than the rookies on her team, (she would turn 24 next week, if he remembered correctly) and had a motherly appeal hardly anyone objected to.

A sudden, sharp intake of breath stole away his attention. Armin snapped his head to face Sasha, ignoring the dizzying swirl that plagued him after the motion.

"...!" Sasha's eyes were wide as she remained crouched low with her ear to the ground. "Something's coming…!"

Mikasa yanked her swords out of their metal scabbards and hardened her eyes. "From below?"

Sasha jolted up. "Titans!"

"Now?" The terror in Italiah's voice couldn't be hidden.

"Get horsed," Mikasa ordered, already mounting her own. "We shouldn't have stayed."

"Are you telling us to leave our Captain?" Italiah all but hissed. "Would _you_ leave _your_ captain behind?"

Armin watched Mikasa bristle at the sound of Italiah's voice. Without a word, Mikasa launched her horse into a gallop.

"Did she just _abandon_ us?" Italiah shrieked.

"Italiah," Armin began calmly, "We need to move on-"

"No! I'm staying _here_!"

Holland raised his voice. "Italiah, we need to rationalize!"

"I don't _want_ to rationalize!" Italiah snapped back.

Holland grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "You're gonna get us all killed!"

"I said don't _touch_ me-!"

"_You're_ the reason Terrance is gone! Because you couldn't stop running your mouth off on him, Terrance left us! The Captain would have been able to keep us all together if you hadn't separated us in the first place! Do you understand? It was you! It's _always_ been you!"

Italiah swung a fist at Holland's face.

Now it was Li Ying who raised her voice. "Italiah, stop!"

Holland grabbed the girl by her wrist and shoved her forward with an angry shout.

"Stop it, both of you!" Sasha cried. "She's gonna-!"

Holland's furious expression quickly turned into horror when he realized what he'd done.

Italiah's terrified face disappeared down the same crevice that had swallowed Jean.

Li Ying lunged forward, her 3DMG whirring loudly as she prepared to leap down after her.

"No, don't!" Sasha shouted, throwing herself onto Li Ying. "You can't! It's not safe! You'll fall in with her!"

Unlike Italiah, Li Ying didn't allow her stubbornness to kick into overdrive. She fought against the grief that threatened to consume her; still on the ground, Li Ying hung her head and expertly took in deep, ragged breaths to control the sobs that wanted to wrack her body.

Holland had no such experience; he fell to his knees with an anguished cry, hands clenched against his scalp and forehead slammed against the ground.

As the thundering footfalls of titans encroached upon them, Armin watched the two soldiers fall apart before his eyes. He glanced at Sasha, who met his eyes for a brief second, and he knew she still felt strongly against this mission. For everyone's sake, he hoped earnestly that the outcome of their mission would be worth the emotional trauma and death toll.

As for what happened to Italiah, well.

Armin just hoped Jean was able to intercept her before a Laghm did.


End file.
